The one thing I really want to tell people is stop trying too hard, just stop. Ok, perhaps some back story is needed. So I had this guy friend who seemed cool in the beginning but it quickly seemed like he was fishing for something more than just friendship. We had a small group, met at bible study everything was fine. Then me and a good friend of mine realized that he was talked to both of us at the same time- and in a similar fashion. Call me coo coo but that's a no no in any girl's book, especially if they are friends and they TALK. Anyways, this went on and on with spurts of communication here and there- all initiated on his part mind you. So I would nonchalantly respond, being friendly ( key word there) as I think it would be a jerkish move to lead someone on when you know you don't think of them that way, know they are talking to more than one person at once ( and mind you it sounded like i was the #2 option anyway) and if you know God is not bringing you that person for THAT reason. Eventually this culminated on my friend's end into asking her out...which she of like mind as mine turned him down and then I start receiving more texts like a week later- not to mention it being a bit awkward when we had met up at the movies a little bit prior as well. I started off not responding but even in that i felt like a jerk though i knew where the rabbit hole would slowly go. I texted back... and sure enough it didn't take long to get invited to something...it was an event that all 3 of us had been talking about for a while but each time someone seemed to forget the answer I previously gave them before. So I gave a wishy-washy answer but later felt convicted that if this was something I really didn't want, I really needed to be fair and decline. So I did..which lead to asking if i was interested in a particular sport. Now, me and my always psychologically analytic mind could foresee where this line of questioning would lead so I straight up called him out and asked if he was trying to ask me out on a date. He proceeded to tell me that he has liked and previously wanted to kiss me. I'm not even going to tell you my initial reaction cause it wasn't the best but I can say that I know the courage it takes to tell someone your feelings and its not pleasant. Though the words were flattering, I had to admit to him that I had no romantic feelings towards him what so ever...like none..like you remind me of my brother and I'm not into incest none. And I had to tell the truth before things got worse. Hours lather his response to cover his pride and the fact that he just got popped in the proverbial balls was that it was in the past, and while I'm pretty, I'm just not deep enough for him...right. Way to back pedal real quick bub. And no offense, you can't reject someone after they already rejected you- duh.I didn't give anything in response- why should I? And as a lady and someone with some class, I let sleeping dogs lie other than this lovely posting.
The thing that keeps getting me over and over though is that the whole thing was trying to hard, ALL OF IT. Just too much too fast and it wasn't working. Not to mention he was caught lying. Not to mention he sure does hop girls really quick and not to mention it was so fake it was ridiculous. But as sad as it is to witness it, I realize that I have had a similar mind set once upon a time ( just with more class cause i'm a 1 guy at a time
kind of gal). I think it cause as people we have a strong desire to connect and be desired by others- to find our mate at a certain point in our lives. Without God truly in the driver's seat of that train its disastrous and we do all sort of crazy crap like have feelings for someone for 4 years and can't even look them in the eye or tell them or all you could do as act like a fool in SOO many ways you wish you could take it back so you didn't seem like a crazy person.. but obviously now its too late. Can't exactly tell everyone you bared you heart to that you are all better now and it was the crazy hormones and thought of hope ( more like delusions of grandure) that took over and turned you into someone you aren't. As for me, because of that life changing event I ran as far as I from the people who I called friends who knew that not so secret secret cause all I felt was shame and made fun of ( even if it didn't really happen, I couldn't help but feel that there were some laughs at my expense...though to me it was not a laughing matter and I was really misled by something that shook me spiritually and mentally (another long story). And to this day I have felt like a fool in one way or another. Anyway the point being, sometimes we try so hard to have people like us that it turns us into something we aren't. For whatever reason we really might want a person't attention but end up with egg on our face. Sometimes we get so blinded that instead of attracting folks we end up repelling them cause our trying just stinks.
My advice, stop trying so hard. If you want someone to like you- just be you. Let things unfold naturally and if they don't, don't press the matter. If someone tells you No- accept it. The first time especially if you are a boy ( no offense if you can't accept no then what makes me think you will accept no to more important things * hint hint*) People don't realize that sometimes they are just doing too much. When it is your time, it will be as cheesy as it sounds, and if its not then you know to enjoy your self a while longer. Sometimes we just need to stop cause what ever we are trying isn't working and we are failing miserably...
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