Lately I have been hearing all these stories about accidents or incidents in which people have passed away. Like a little girl who always got dropped off at school but the one time she walks with her friends to middle school cause her mother was running late to work, she and her friends were slammed into by a distracted driver. She died on the scene. Of that there was a fire and all 3 children and the babysitter died in it. or even that a friend of mine lost someone close to her and is haunted my the what if moment surrounding the last time she saw him before he was a victim of a hit and run. These people were just living their lives. They had dreams and wishes they wanted to come true but abruptly came to an end. Though death is a natural part of our lives and we all (for the most part) are going to go through it, I really can't stand feeling my own mortality. That at any given moment it could all be over.
Psalm 39:4
4 “Show me, LORD, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting my life is.5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath even those who seem secure
I always wondered why in the world would David want to feel such a thing. It's not comfortable... and quite frankly it sucks, but I guess on some level thats the point- to get you out of your comfort zone, to make you get out of your life entitlement syndrome. When you do feel your own mortality I think it helps to give more meaning to life. You realize that you don't have all the time in the world and that you should be grateful that you were able to wake up in the morning at least.
When I think about it, I wonder in what ways is God trying to use me, whether in my family or at work, or even church. It also makes me realize the importance of loving one another and doing your best to help the world we live in. I also realize that life is too short to live in regret or to hide your true feelings. If you don't want to do something- don't do it, its your choice. If you love someone, tell them, what do you have to lose? Though it may not be reciprocated who doesn't want to know there is someone out there amongst the billions of people who care about them?
It all can be a beautiful mess of trying to figure out what to do with the life thats given, but the only thing I know to be certain is that it is a gift and should be lived to the fullest.
