My Secret Wannabe Life

 So no thanks to my friends Stormi and Alana, who tried to pull me into their little fandom, I have found that in my secret wannabe life I kind of wanna be a Youtuber. Weird? I thought so too lol. But no really it looks like a blast.

Lately I have become obsessed "preoccupied" with different Youtuber's videos. I admire how much time and effort people put into it as a hobby and how they can just go out there and be their self for the world to see. I think its a pretty darn bold move if you ask me especially if you see how judgmental people are. I watch some of them and I just think "Man, I want to do something funny, awesome and creative. Something that makes people laugh or lifts their spirit." And it seems that some of the people I have started following are all friends who have met through their Youtube experience, which goes to show that even if its through video connections can still be made. Honestly, it would be great to meet new folks that way and even better if I could end up meeting Youtubers I follow and chill with them for a bit. They could get to know me, I could get to know them and do all sorts of fun stuff.

"Well what stopping you?", you might ask? I am like a nervous wreck thinking of doing something like that. I wouldn't even know where to start. I know nothing about cameras or film editing ( though from my years of photoshop I think it might be a skill you learn along the way). I also worry about the sort of comments that will be thrown my way, especially since the internet has quite the handful of cowardly, judgmental and seemingly racist people. A Black girl making videos about what people may consider "Un-Black" things doesn't seem like it would get the best comments... but actually you never know and then again that honestly hasn't stopped me from doing something before, but you know those fleeting thoughts. Also professionally, I wonder if it would affect me in human services field... or if I should refrain from it all together. I would also want to do something that did share my faith with others, which I would do anyway cause it a big part of who I am- but with that also comes the natural sting of rejection.  And I also feel that maybe I'm supposed to be to old for that yeah right .

*All of these things are issues I just need to get over lol*

 Anyways, if I did do videos can say that I would love to do ones that made people laugh, shared my faith, and shared a little bit of what I love. Maybe I will try it. Maybe this urge will be a phase. I guess in the long run only time will tell. But until then I will settle for figuring out this season of my life and will continue following the wonderful Our2ndLife guys and their antics (soo funny :D) while supporting them all the way.