I'm trying and trying to put in all these applications to find the job for me, its just a matter of ruling them out cause i know there is something out there for me. Meanwhile I have been trying to find something of myself. Its like the person everyone thought they knew was just a cheap outer shell and now that its shattered its up to me to figure out what is left. The other day i went to the book store and it was the first time in a long time when i took the time to just browse around. Usually my pattern has been to run to the Christian book section in order to find an answer to whatever was the matter with me. Like i have been in a constant search of fixing myself and problems. I'm starting to realize that maybe its not about fixing myself but about living and enjoying life. Like i had been focusing on my problems too much. Now I'm thinking that the only thing I have is letting God handle it all. As wonderful as that is I must admit i don't feel much joy in that right now. Cause everything though certain in His hands is up in the air for me. Maybe its another lesson in trust. I'm pretty sure thats what it is. On the upside however I can say that its very freeing for once. I'm free to discover myself and lost passion- some even that i never knew i had.
Even though I feel very tired and lost its still an exciting time. I do wonder what it will bring.
No comments:
Post a Comment